I fell in love last summer. It was a strange event and I was not expecting it. But that’s how these things go, right? The feelings were instant and one-sided. I can’t describe how and why I loved her, I just knew that I did. Some friends said that my feelings were infatuation but I didn’t agree. It took a couple of heartbreaks, a few kava drinks, and nine months to go by until my romantic feelings towards her (I’ll refer to her as Audrey) were gone. Once I realized that I didn’t “love” her I was a bit happy and felt relieved.
I was excited to call my friend and tell her that I didn’t love Audrey anymore but that I cared for her. Then my friend said “you can still love your friend.” That sentence really stuck to me because I have always been a person that is open about their feelings. However, I would rarely say the word love to friends because I did not understand that I can platonically love people. I’ve always thought that the word “love” or to actually love someone was reserved for family and significant others but that’s not true.
I thought a lot about this around Valentine’s Day because it’s one of my favorite holidays, but I didn’t have a significant other to do Valentine’s Day things with. Growing up I would always make Valentine’s Day cards for family and friends because I love them and I didn’t even think about it being a couple’s holiday. I probably enjoyed it more as a kid because I didn’t refer to it as Valentine’s Day. At home, we would say “Feliz Día del Amor y la Amistad” which I prefer because it includes amistad (friendship) in the phrase.
I do think it was just the media that made me think differently as I got older and I subconsciously believed that I couldn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day if I were single. During this week I was going back and forth with my own issues about relationships and what my friend had said about loving everyone. Her words helped because it motivated me to celebrate Valentine’s Day with my roommate. We went to the kava bar and it was so much fun. Later, my brother sent me a beautiful message saying how much he loves me and that also showed me that there’s nothing wrong with showing affection outside of a romantic relationship.
Frankly, I get really confused when I think of love and loving others but part of me also feels like it does not need to be so complicated. Love is love and I am working on showing it more to those I care about. Lately I’ve been using the word love more frequently and some people get a bit shocked or confused but that’s ok. I’ve also been told to not say that word too much or it’ll lose the meaning, but does it really? With everything going on in this world it’s clear that love can be nonexistent and we can start moving forward by putting more love out there.
Computers 4 Kids